You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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