thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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