Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
