I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
