just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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