Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me

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(773): View more from Illinois

They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan

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(813): View more from Florida

It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.

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(917): View more from New York City

I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant

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(317): View more from Indiana

you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...

Fav 22 8632 1936
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(563): View more from Iowa

last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.

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(240): View more from Maryland

Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.

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