Im at strip club and am horny
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
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