HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Randomize
