I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
