k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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