You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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