It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
