There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
