weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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