Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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