Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize