Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
tonight lets celebrate not being married
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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