I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
As shirtless as possible
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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