I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
