I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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