sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
