You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
sarcasm needs its own font
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize