running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
