I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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