I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I love you.
Bad choice
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
