bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She told me I should be a condom model.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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