I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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