his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
