did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize