just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
