I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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