I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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