Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
