Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
