I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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