sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
oh god the rape fog is back!
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
last night I used snow as a chaser
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
