Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
