My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
