Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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