Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
