i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
