I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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