eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
