conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize