She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
