The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
