What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
