someone owes me an orgasm
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
