I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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