I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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