whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize