So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
