so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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