im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Me too!
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
