we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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