like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Randomize
