its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
