My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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