Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize